Internal vs. External Validation: Nurturing Your Inner Light
Internal vs. External Validation: Nurturing Your Inner Light
Imagine a glowing ball of golden light. This radiant orb represents your sense of self-worth. Your confidence, and your ability to navigate the world with clarity and purpose. Now, imagine that this glowing ball is outside of you. Floating where anyone can reach it. It’s exposed to the judgments, opinions, and approval or disapproval of others. This is what it feels like to rely on external validation. On the other hand, when that glowing ball resides within you. You are its sole guardian. It is safe, nurtured, and only influenced by what you truly believe and value. This is the power of internal validation. The concept of internal versus external validation helps us understand where we derive our sense of worth and decision-making power. Both forms of validation play roles in our lives. But one leads to self-trust and inner peace, while the other can leave us feeling vulnerable and unmoored. Let’s explore Internal vs. External Validation: Nurturing Your Inner Light.
What Is External Validation?
External validation occurs when we rely on the approval, praise, or acknowledgment of others to feel worthy or confident. It’s that feeling of accomplishment when your boss compliments your work or the joy of receiving a flood of likes on a social media post. While external validation can provide a temporary boost, it is inherently unstable. When your sense of worth depends on others. You’re constantly at the mercy of their opinions, judgments, and moods. If someone criticizes you or dismisses your efforts, that glowing ball of self-worth takes a hit. Over time, this reliance on external validation can lead to insecurity, self-doubt, and an endless cycle of seeking approval. This isn’t to say external validation is inherently bad. We all enjoy positive feedback and connection. The key is recognizing it as a temporary complement, not a substitute for, our internal sense of worth.
What Is Internal Validation?
Internal validation is the ability to recognize and affirm your own worth regardless of external opinions. It’s about trusting your judgment, valuing your feelings, and being confident in your abilities without needing others to confirm them. When your glowing ball of light is within you, it serves as your compass. It allows you to pause, reflect, and ask yourself, what do I think about this? How does this align with my values and goals? Cultivating internal validation doesn’t mean ignoring feedback or isolating yourself from others. Instead, it means making yourself the primary caretaker of your self-worth. This inner strength empowers you to navigate life’s challenges. With resilience and grace because your sense of value comes from within.
The Consequences of Living for External Validation
Living for external validation is like trying to fill a bucket with holes. It’s exhausting, unsustainable, and ultimately unfulfilling. When you’re focused on pleasing others, you may:
Constantly second-guess your decisions, wondering if they’ll meet others’ approval.
Struggle to set boundaries, fearing rejection or disapproval.
Feel crushed by criticism, even if it’s constructive.
Lose touch with your authentic self, as you prioritize others’ opinions over your own.
Over time, this external focus can leave you feeling like you’re living someone else’s life. Disconnected from your true desires and values.
How to Cultivate Internal Validation
The journey to internal validation begins with reclaiming your glowing ball of light and placing it firmly within yourself. This involves developing practices that help you build self-trust, clarity, and confidence. Start by becoming aware of how often you seek external validation. When making decisions, pause and ask yourself, “am I doing this because it feels right for me, or because I think it will please someone else?” Building this awareness is the first step to shifting your focus inward. Next, practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. When you make mistakes or face challenges, remind yourself that your worth is not tied to perfection or performance. Over time, this self-compassion becomes the foundation for internal validation. Another powerful tool is affirming your values. Identify what truly matters to you. Your goals, principles, and passions. And use them as your guiding light. When you’re grounded in your values, you’re less likely to be swayed by the fleeting opinions of others.
Imagining Your Glowing Ball of Light
As you reflect on the concept of internal and external validation, picture your glowing ball of light. Is it floating outside you, vulnerable to the winds of others’ opinions? Or is it safely within you, shining brightly as a source of strength and guidance? Visualizing this ball of light can serve as a daily reminder to nurture and protect your inner sense of worth. Whenever you find yourself overly concerned with what others think, take a moment to connect with your inner light. Ask yourself what truly matters to you and let that guide your next steps.
How Therapy by Catherine Can Help
If you’re struggling to reclaim your glowing ball of light or find balance between internal and external validation, Therapy by Catherine can help. Catherine Adams, LMFT, specializes in trauma, grief, early attachment repair, and ancestral healing. Through modalities like EMDR and Brainspotting, she provides a compassionate space for deep healing and self-discovery. At Therapy by Catherine, the goal is to guide you toward emotional freedom, resilience, and clarity. You deserve to live a life rooted in peace, confidence, and authenticity. Whether you’re seeking to heal from past wounds or cultivate a stronger connection with your inner self, Catherine can help you set your glowing light firmly within and illuminate the path forward. Your worth is yours to define. Reclaim your inner light with Therapy by Catherine. Reach out today to begin your journey!
